Flashback Friday

Its a beautiful day here in Delhi. I can listen to the sheeting rain as it falls on the plastic shed outside my office window. Even as it slows down, the freshness permeates through windows which have been kept shut to keep water from coming in.

The auto ride from mom’s office to mine was just as fresh and fragrant. With dark clouds hovering up in the sky and wind brushing against my face, I was all romantic and gave Kay a call rightaway.

If there’s not much to do in a weather like this, I am often drawn to my reflective self. I might think about old times I liked or even wonder what I would have rather been doing had this happened or that happened.
Amidst all of this, I was browsing through a few good blogs and found this thing called Flashback Friday at Seaside Simplicity and I am more than just excited to take this up. It’s not a challenge but just a chance to make you stop for a moment when you’re visiting the years gone by and reflect upon them.
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There are no rules. All you have to do is scan a pic from pre digitization times and put it up..talk about it perhaps or do whatever just the way you like it. I guess I might just stick to the flashback idea and let all memories come gushing when I take this up each Friday without being prejudicial to the digitized era.
Uptil now, whenever I have opened up my old photo albums, I have always wished to keep them properly arranged and not lose them with years or system crashes. Also, there were times when I wished I had kept those beautiful memories documented in some way or other. Each Friday, I guess, I would get a chance to do just that and relive all the happiness.

­čÖé

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Weekend Rants

Everytime I sit, I almost feel pregnant as my belly protrudes out as if trying to make space for itself, crunched between my legs and those things up there. If I dont do anything about it now, I am sure that it would certainly win the fight for space, making the fictional monster there inside appear to have grown in all directions. I should rather prepare myself with answers as to how you can be impregnated by burgers and aloo chats and cheese and coke if I dont want to face societal banishment.
As is clear from my banter, I am not only fighting my food cravings but also the cranky mood that my swollen belly puts me through each time I realise the existence of extra flesh in all the wrong places.
With each day that passes by, the time for New Year draws closer and the realization that Losing Weight would be a part of my New Year Resolution for yet another time makes me want to refrain from jotting down any resolutions for the forthcoming year. Only if that was easy! I know if I skip that part, the year would not feel to have begun well without all the customary year end ponderings over the past year. I really need to chalk out how I can make my life a little better, any lack of implementation of the thoughtful resolutions is a different issue altogether. To make a fresh start, its very much required of me to at least unclog my mind of all the shit that I might have accumulated over the year. The resolution making session allows me to make choices with regard to what I want to carry forward to the next year and what I would love to just dump behind.
Since not making resolutions is out of question for now, I can still decide to monitor the content of it. I can, of course, skip to mention at all about any weight loss programs. But somehow, that just doesn’t feel right. It’s more like cheating yourself with a resolution list boasting of fancy plans but not indicating my failure at implementing last year’s program. And anyway, that would defeat the very purpose of resolving if previous failures are not even acknowledged.
Moreover, not resolving to lose weight would only invite more of problems for me. I am tired of wanting to look better. To do something better with myself. And now that I am one of the office-goers, I can not overlook the importance of fitness in one’s professional and personal life.
I guess I had meant to talk about how uneasy those extra pounds here and there make me feel when I had begun writing this post but eventually shifted my focus to whether losing weight should be one of the matters to be resolved on this New Year. Can I be any more lame? If yes, I would love that part of me to be explored as I get into writing my mind out onto the paper. Okay, typing it onto the screen!

A new beginning.

More than a million of unfinished drafts reside in my account telling stories of a person barren of creativity. There was a time when the only way for me to drain out the excessive energy from my body was either to jump on beds or to comfort myself in front of my desktop and make random posts. With the kind of increment in numbers that the weighing machine shows when I stand on it, jumping on bed would be like dolly bindra asking for a bikini to wear. Well, thats exaggerated.

I wish I hadnt grown up into an uninspired┬ástereotypically┬álame CA article.┬áAnd that I had not given up, killed and buried my first blog out of frustration so that I could just dig out and relive the school days in the monotone of the office life. Its never too late for a start is what I remind myself each time I stare at the blank ‘New Post’ page but the moment the fingers hit the keys, my brain absorbs the emptiness of the screen with no ideas to share.

So am 21 and a day old today. More than a month ago, I had kissed my college goodbye and embarked on this journey called Articleship. From friends and like minded people, I have come to know that the Articleship tenure is explicated as the most testing phase of a CA student’s life. I consider myself incompetent to comment on that with just a month into my training and a lot of mixed emotions about it but yes,there have been days when I have woken up with doubts about my choice of career, trying to gather courage to tell mom that marrying a super rich guy to make me travel around the world won’t be that bad an idea than to slog my ass off at office for all the years to come. And then a reminiscence of papa ke paise par aish wala super cool dude in unbuttoned shirts showing off an ugly unshaven chest and metal chains clouds my thoughts and I decide I cannot give up CA to marry him. Never.

Its not like I have not enjoyed at all but I miss the college life for all the ┬áleisure I had. I cherish those moments of nothingness and crave for them as long as the ‘super cool dude’┬ádoesn’t┬áhaunt my thoughts again. But then, I have had people telling me that I would tend to like it more than college one day. The wait for that day has already started.

Apart from office, there isn’t any development in my life. Just that the persistent illness has turned me into a person who prefers mummy ke haath ka khana over the delicious mouth watering butter laden food they offer at audits. Yes, mom loves it and I am hopeful that it might help me shed a few kilos too.

Another reality I have confronted is how I am not the king of the world. To be a CA student always gave you an edge over others at college even if they were more intellectual than you. You always knew everything, they were just quick to grasp but to be amidst people from the same fraternity paves way for ineludable comparisons which end with you feeling dumb most of the times.

Sigh.

So, this is all for now. I am looking forward to brighter days. Days that would leave me content with my decision. The decision to not to aim to be a doctor but a CA. Its taking a little longer than I had thought it would for the realization to engulf me but I am more than hopeful that I would, someday, get to live the life I had always wanted to.

Signing off with a promise to be back soon this time. ­čÖé