Weekend Rants

Everytime I sit, I almost feel pregnant as my belly protrudes out as if trying to make space for itself, crunched between my legs and those things up there. If I dont do anything about it now, I am sure that it would certainly win the fight for space, making the fictional monster there inside appear to have grown in all directions. I should rather prepare myself with answers as to how you can be impregnated by burgers and aloo chats and cheese and coke if I dont want to face societal banishment.
As is clear from my banter, I am not only fighting my food cravings but also the cranky mood that my swollen belly puts me through each time I realise the existence of extra flesh in all the wrong places.
With each day that passes by, the time for New Year draws closer and the realization that Losing Weight would be a part of my New Year Resolution for yet another time makes me want to refrain from jotting down any resolutions for the forthcoming year. Only if that was easy! I know if I skip that part, the year would not feel to have begun well without all the customary year end ponderings over the past year. I really need to chalk out how I can make my life a little better, any lack of implementation of the thoughtful resolutions is a different issue altogether. To make a fresh start, its very much required of me to at least unclog my mind of all the shit that I might have accumulated over the year. The resolution making session allows me to make choices with regard to what I want to carry forward to the next year and what I would love to just dump behind.
Since not making resolutions is out of question for now, I can still decide to monitor the content of it. I can, of course, skip to mention at all about any weight loss programs. But somehow, that just doesn’t feel right. It’s more like cheating yourself with a resolution list boasting of fancy plans but not indicating my failure at implementing last year’s program. And anyway, that would defeat the very purpose of resolving if previous failures are not even acknowledged.
Moreover, not resolving to lose weight would only invite more of problems for me. I am tired of wanting to look better. To do something better with myself. And now that I am one of the office-goers, I can not overlook the importance of fitness in one’s professional and personal life.
I guess I had meant to talk about how uneasy those extra pounds here and there make me feel when I had begun writing this post but eventually shifted my focus to whether losing weight should be one of the matters to be resolved on this New Year. Can I be any more lame? If yes, I would love that part of me to be explored as I get into writing my mind out onto the paper. Okay, typing it onto the screen!

The Weekend Blogger

Ah yes, of late I have decided I would turn into one of those.

I cant quite recall a Saturday or a Sunday night that I slept without lamenting over the day wasted over unimportant things. Moreover, its my mind that needs to be occupied with something to keep me sane and when I say something, I don’t really mean important things. So, cutting through the paradox and cutting it short further, I have decided to turn myself into a Weekend Blogger.

Over the past few months, life has been quite eventful. I am almost half a year into office life. I miss college a little less and I have been making efforts to give my life a futuristic outlook rather than being a dweller of the past. Well, now that I have mentioned of ‘the past’, I cant really resist talking about it. No, I don’t mean to ransack the long buried memories or anything but just, you know, talk about how the year has been.

Apart from graduating and starting up with office and stuff, there has been another development that I would have otherwise called to be premature to happen in my life. When the Bear and me broke up last year, I knew I was not falling for a guy anytime soon. It wasn’t one of those devastating aftermaths of separation that I  didn’t want to date anybody but just that I didn’t believe I could give up my long desired peace of mind that I had lost in the clutter of my last relationship. And also, my expectations from a guy had soared up high enough that only a laboratory generated human male could meet them. However, but, the cupid struck again and I could not keep myself from falling for this guy.

It wasn’t the number of expectations he met that qualified him to be ‘the’ guy. What pulled me towards him was how he surprised me each time he showed a part of him that I had never expected I could connect with but could only find myself asking for more. It wasn’t the charm that spellbound me but the mere fact that he was mostly about everything I had kept outside my wishlist and still held the  potential to draw me closer to him. It was about exploring myself as I sought to delve into his personality deeper and deeper. It wasn’t about knowing him, it was about knowing myself. Each day, I broke one more shell I had created around me and grew closer to breaking free from the clutches of monotony and obstinacy that had suffocated me for so long.

So, life, as I mentioned, has taken quite a different turn this year. Its like I have been given a chance to make amends and start things afresh. A chance to unload the luggage I have been carrying for so many years and enrich my life with everything good, the way I had always wanted it to be. And I, for sure, am not missing it this time.

A new beginning.

More than a million of unfinished drafts reside in my account telling stories of a person barren of creativity. There was a time when the only way for me to drain out the excessive energy from my body was either to jump on beds or to comfort myself in front of my desktop and make random posts. With the kind of increment in numbers that the weighing machine shows when I stand on it, jumping on bed would be like dolly bindra asking for a bikini to wear. Well, thats exaggerated.

I wish I hadnt grown up into an uninspired stereotypically lame CA article. And that I had not given up, killed and buried my first blog out of frustration so that I could just dig out and relive the school days in the monotone of the office life. Its never too late for a start is what I remind myself each time I stare at the blank ‘New Post’ page but the moment the fingers hit the keys, my brain absorbs the emptiness of the screen with no ideas to share.

So am 21 and a day old today. More than a month ago, I had kissed my college goodbye and embarked on this journey called Articleship. From friends and like minded people, I have come to know that the Articleship tenure is explicated as the most testing phase of a CA student’s life. I consider myself incompetent to comment on that with just a month into my training and a lot of mixed emotions about it but yes,there have been days when I have woken up with doubts about my choice of career, trying to gather courage to tell mom that marrying a super rich guy to make me travel around the world won’t be that bad an idea than to slog my ass off at office for all the years to come. And then a reminiscence of papa ke paise par aish wala super cool dude in unbuttoned shirts showing off an ugly unshaven chest and metal chains clouds my thoughts and I decide I cannot give up CA to marry him. Never.

Its not like I have not enjoyed at all but I miss the college life for all the  leisure I had. I cherish those moments of nothingness and crave for them as long as the ‘super cool dude’ doesn’t haunt my thoughts again. But then, I have had people telling me that I would tend to like it more than college one day. The wait for that day has already started.

Apart from office, there isn’t any development in my life. Just that the persistent illness has turned me into a person who prefers mummy ke haath ka khana over the delicious mouth watering butter laden food they offer at audits. Yes, mom loves it and I am hopeful that it might help me shed a few kilos too.

Another reality I have confronted is how I am not the king of the world. To be a CA student always gave you an edge over others at college even if they were more intellectual than you. You always knew everything, they were just quick to grasp but to be amidst people from the same fraternity paves way for ineludable comparisons which end with you feeling dumb most of the times.

Sigh.

So, this is all for now. I am looking forward to brighter days. Days that would leave me content with my decision. The decision to not to aim to be a doctor but a CA. Its taking a little longer than I had thought it would for the realization to engulf me but I am more than hopeful that I would, someday, get to live the life I had always wanted to.

Signing off with a promise to be back soon this time. 🙂

 

Drinks and Chocolates.

Although my day was a chocolaty blend of cakes and ice creams, with some pasta and chicken fused in to neutralize the sweetness my taste buds had been accustomed to, I decided to give due recognition to the little hot and cold ‘Drinks’ I had during the day in the title for that was my theme of the day as per the februaryphotoadaychallenge taken up by me in the last post. Out of the enormous sea of pictures I took today, of drinks, chocolate-rich-delicacies-whose-names-I-can’t-recall and my friend who shall be referred to as ‘The Bear’ whenever he is mentioned, I have chosen the following one to precisely correspond the theme:

Moving on, the bear and me decided this sunny day of Delhi winters to spend some time together at Khan Market to gossip over the happenings in each others’ lives and stuff that is typically random and can’t be specifically called something. And for those who are wondering, its not me but his friends who call him ‘the bear’ from times before I met him and much before he inflated himself into a giant balloon. I just copied that into my post.

So we started the day at Barista where we alternated our seating between the terrace and the lounge because the sun wasn’t as pleasant as I had expected it to be. The fact that we were one of the first customers on that floor made the ambiance a little too quiet and unwelcoming for us to stay longer than our ‘Chocolate Tart scooped with Vanilla Ice cream’ lasted. Moreover, there was a restlessness within to explore the somber streets running through the market which were yet to fill up in the approaching afternoon.

We strolled for a while and the bear got himself a laptop bag. I stood by silently, counting the greys on his head, while he underwent the very critical selection process to ensure that the bag was just the right thing for the price he was to pay. I studied his scalp further to check for more signs of ageing.

Route 04 was our next destination where I did most of the photography along with some serious chatter about life in general and the bear’s occasional diversions to good looking girls around. The food was not breathtakingly wonderful but good. The best part about it was probably the conversation and that we sat under the scorching heat of the sun that secluded him from all the beauties of the world. My Idea. 🙂

Does he look disappointed?

Following the food, we decided to walk the streets, which were hustling by now, yet another time. We checked out various stores, met a  friendly or rather an over friendly Sardarji salesman who awed us with his super cute tactics to lure us into buying stuff and eventually plodded to Choco La. The bear also bought me a gift after I almost wasted myself into performing the useless cost-benefit analysis and letting him buy me that. No, not from the Sardarji.

I liked this place more than Route04. It was soothing and just the perfect place to end the day with. I also learnt that Latte Americano is Black Coffee. No, I didn’t know that. So we just ordered a simple cappuccino and some dessert I dont remember that is sinfully yumm and served in a large glass shaped bowl. You have to scrape the chocolate that is deliberately spread onto the inner walls of the glass while collecting some gooey chocolate ice cream, that has a hundred other ingredients mixed in it, into the spoon before you take it into your mouth and slowly savour the taste.

Some more conversations followed and it was time to part. I was happy that we got a chance to spend such meaningful moments together even after we really decided to part ways. The reality being difficult to accept, I made the best efforts to save our friendship from the aftermath of our separation. I hope he feels alike.

The day closed with a very sober farewell. We enjoyed our time together and he told me that he found the same chirpiness in me that he used to in the early days of our acquaintance. For me, it was refreshing as always. I am always charged up for the coming days after seeing him and today was no different. 🙂

Thanks for the wonderful day!

🙂

May I join in?

Am I really late for the February-Photo-A-Day-Challenge? 😦

Its something I came across while doing the rounds of some of my favourite blogs and could not wait to get doing it myself. Severely hit by the monotony of my everyday life of college bunks and CA classes, am more than just interested to join in the mid term, lol! It seems fun to me and plus it would give me a life with an everyday aim to hunt for something or maybe to find that something in my everyday chores and capture it. Everyday, a bit overused today. Or is it ‘day’?

Anyway, so I would have to take a picture relating to the topics given in the list below and publish it here. Though I can choose any of the social media to publish it but I choose my blog as I also need some fodder for my mind, which has been a void for the past one month, to really give life to my blog.

Since I am joining midway, I would start today onward. Here goes the list..

I begin.

Unless expressed and put in words, I have never found life, even at its simplest, to have made sense that adequately quenched my thirst, a vehement desire, to analytically peep into its infinitesimal elements that caused it to be what it is. I have filled endless sheets of paper, drawing out inferences and connecting lines of various events in my life, just to clear the clutter and smoothen out the corrugated thoughts that result as an outcome of an untended mind. Therefore, to come up with this blog is yet another attempt at providing myself with an alternate platform to soliloquize  and thereby trying to live a more meaningful and rather transparent life. Also, it is moreorless an effort I want to put to weave together moments, sweet or otherwise, from my life that should be looked upon with a smile on my lips and a gleam in my eyes in the years to come. And, it would not just be the thoughtful reflective posts to fill up the space but also some empty yet beautiful moments that I would want to construct into words to pull them out of obscurity of routine existence for they mean a chuckle or an interrupted tear that didn’t flow beyond the corner of my eyes.

If I am vividly descriptive or present a melodramatic recollection of  events, I am sorry but that’s just because it gives me a sense of fulfillment and nourishes my desire to express myself like nothing else. Real life doesn’t accept that after all. 🙂

With nothing more to say and wishing myself good luck with this new venture, I sign off for today.

🙂