Amy Woofs#1

Hi

I am Amy. You might wonder if its a guest post or something but na. Its pretty much my space as in whatever belongs to Vanilla is in a way all mine. Right from the day she brought me home, she had made certain terms clear to all my family and sharing of stuff between us was a part of them. So you know, sharing bed, food, clothes at times and stuff like that..its usual between us and then I thought why not the blog!

I understand this place lies unvisited most of the times as Vanilla is into office and all human stuff and whatever time she has, she likes to spend it all on me but now that I have discovered it, I might sneak in sometimes to woof out a bit about life and karma. Okay, life and play! I act all human at times. A psychotic one.

Since there is not much anyone knows about me, I would like to share that I was this cute little baby playing with siblings in the park when one day the predator caught a glimpse of my cute chubby self and quietly abducted me on one silent afternoon when my mommy was away.

Thats me btw..when i was a kid..yea, I liked to sleep all day ..sshhh

Meee!

I was taken to this place nearby and introduced to this all human world and I had no idea how to go about these rather giant furniture pieces and the concept of  seeing Vets on scheduled dates and weekly baths and what not. But hey, I loved it here and I got a new mommy. A mommy who irritates me the most with hugs and snuggles which dont even require a reason to happen. Even when I am trying to be nasty, I get  kissed and chased after for a hug for she thinks it was ‘cute’. Cute? Dude, you just caught me nibbling at daddy’s feet to wake him up. And I thought I was being rude.

So whatever. Somethings I cant understand but still I have my own opinions about the world I see everyday. People I like, People I don’t (like). Confusions! For instance, when its 12 in the afternoon and I am offered a walk. They think I dont understand that a walk at 12 is rather a strategy devised to get me off the bed and to the veranda for a bath. But it does take me a while to figure out the right way to react. So, there are a lot many things I have in mind and all of it can’t be done in a day.

I am already feeling a little droopy eyed. Head feeling heavy and tail loosening up slightly. Its a bodily reaction to signal that I must catch some sleep. After all, there’s a lot of jumping and running around the house to be done in the evening.

I will come back for some more rants later.

C ya

Love

Amy

The girly girl kinds

Whats really a girly girl thing?

I have graduated from an all girl’s college and I tell you-Girls can be freaking irritating when it comes to being around their guy or talking of them or texting them. Texting-oh-yes-s0, if you have really sneaked into a girl’s inbox ever(i am sure you have) you already know what kind of mushy dialogues it is flooded with. You might have come across a variety of hugs, for example! -the huggies hugs, tight hugs, side hugs-if you’re just friends, long hugs and if there’s more to it, do drop a message! And there’s a barrage of names that follow. Any little twist of tongue that produces a somewhat ‘cute’ version of the guy’s real name is his new nick name. Parents could never be that creative.

I don’t know what has compelled me into writing this down. Neither am I trying to convey that I don’t fall into ‘the’ category nor do I mean I am in anyway personally affected by someone else’s indulgence into what is a much obvious characteristic of the female specie. I would rather accept that every girl is a mommy at heart and subjects her guy to her ever brimming motherly affection. I am sorry if my stereotyping my own gender is offending anybody. I am sure there are exceptions.

What I don’t like, however, is how some of these girls wear a pretense of sophisticatedly carved man-friendly attitude that disapproves anything that can, even remotely, be a matter of public embarrassment for them. Its like how they would suddenly overflow with mannerism that fits into the needs of the other sex. Its funny! We rather have an inborn tendency to make anybody fall for us. Okay, slight exaggeration here!

Alright, so what really happens when we have won it. We have charmed the guy we wanted to, we have made ourselves wanted, we have left that oh-she’s-got-brains-i-tell-you kind of an impression and perhaps we have ended up being together with the guy we had once so desired to be with. I would stop once again to apologize for generalizing everything but that just makes me feel a little less pathetic about myself. Lol! But I would also want some guy to tell me if they really detest this sort of behaviour or do they like it in their heart? Do they have the patience of a daddy that makes them endure the silly things their girls do? I would really appreciate if you open up a bit about how guys take it.

So yes, by now I am sure I have made it clear I am one of those ‘Pamper Me’ kinds and am pretty much vocal about it. Whats making me come out with this is probably the lack of attention I am getting today. I absolutely love his attention and I love being pampered. I am missing him and how he allows me to turn into a baby who has the right to be pampered. He’s already a father by now and knows how to handle difficult kids like me.

On an emotional front, I just cant put in words how special he makes me feel when he reserves the last bite of my favourite food from his share for me or how he overtakes me while walking on my side to allow me to fall under his shade when the sun is baking me. Sometimes, I in fact love to see him jealous if I talk to somebody he doesn’t like even though my feminist self shows up to counter his rather conservative views. Many a times, I am just playing around and deriving pleasure out of feeling so much wanted and cared for by somebody. 😛

I am silly, I know but that is just how I am. I have tried making sense at times but I have failed an equal number of times. You can’t rob me of my very essence. If I need something, I want it right away. Be it your attention. If I feel like being treated like a baby, treat me so. When I want to talk like grown  ups, its your day boy! 🙂

How many of you have actually felt the way I do? Is it a part of growing up? and what about you guys..do you ever feel the way we (I) do? I would like to know if what I am like is more phenomenal than anything weird.

🙂

Nights.

Flashback Friday

Its a beautiful day here in Delhi. I can listen to the sheeting rain as it falls on the plastic shed outside my office window. Even as it slows down, the freshness permeates through windows which have been kept shut to keep water from coming in.

The auto ride from mom’s office to mine was just as fresh and fragrant. With dark clouds hovering up in the sky and wind brushing against my face, I was all romantic and gave Kay a call rightaway.

If there’s not much to do in a weather like this, I am often drawn to my reflective self. I might think about old times I liked or even wonder what I would have rather been doing had this happened or that happened.
Amidst all of this, I was browsing through a few good blogs and found this thing called Flashback Friday at Seaside Simplicity and I am more than just excited to take this up. It’s not a challenge but just a chance to make you stop for a moment when you’re visiting the years gone by and reflect upon them.
image

There are no rules. All you have to do is scan a pic from pre digitization times and put it up..talk about it perhaps or do whatever just the way you like it. I guess I might just stick to the flashback idea and let all memories come gushing when I take this up each Friday without being prejudicial to the digitized era.
Uptil now, whenever I have opened up my old photo albums, I have always wished to keep them properly arranged and not lose them with years or system crashes. Also, there were times when I wished I had kept those beautiful memories documented in some way or other. Each Friday, I guess, I would get a chance to do just that and relive all the happiness.

🙂

January Bytes

January has almost sped away and I just realized over a cup of tea at CCD that I have already lived through a month of the year whose start I had just been associating with ‘Change’, ‘Ambitions’ and ‘Dreams’. It seems like it was just yesterday that I talked about all those things I sought to achieve this year.

Things like refusing to be a failure.

To talk of how it has been for me, I would say not very well. Throughout the month I found myself engulfed in confusion and bound by regrets. I lived more in the past than think of brightening the future. Decisions taken years ago were reviewed for their adequacy even though there was no turning back. Probably, I was just looking for something to accuse for the emotional turmoil I was or maybe am in. It is, perhaps, too many things happening all at once and I don’t know how to deal with it.

When I think about it, think deep about the real cause of the uproar inside of me, I realize I haven’t quite learnt to accept refusals. I am positive about most of the things around me but when something does not go as planned, unfortunately I never have a Plan B and that leaves me bereft of hope. Law of attraction works at its cruel best and I find myself brimming with disappointment from everything happening in a way just opposite to how I had expected it to be.

I broke down into tears more than once this month and it did not help. Crying does help release pent up emotions but does not offer a solution to fit in all of life’s problems. Maybe nothing does. 

I read it somewhere that one should be comfortable with the uncomfortable and that made a lot of sense to me. Analyzing my past reactions to circumstances, I could easily draw that I have always been one of those adamant kinds. I have only welcomed life when it offered exactly what I had wanted. I could not accept my wants being refused or my dreams discarded but instead of being a fighter, I would curse everything around me.

Life was probably just its normal self. Like tides of sea, it has been constantly rising and ebbing but I never learnt to sail with ebbing tides and cried until they rose again. Contemplating the thought, I suddenly find those three fingers pointing big at me when I look for a victim to put allegations on for my state of mind. All this while, it has only been me who could drag myself out of this.

And this, for sure, makes me feel better. Its like a new ray of hope for now I do have an answer to all my questions. Its like I have found the solution and know what to do. The problem is not with life, its with me and the answer is not in the people around me or the situations but within me.

Happy 2013

It’s been some 20 days into 2013 and the start has been slightly dull with an exception of the very first day that me and Lay chatted away in South Delhi. With nothing to do, I don’t think of a better opportunity to draft my resolutions for the year.

Honestly, I haven’t even thought of the issues that require to be resolved upon though am aware of the void that bothers me day in and day out. All I need to do is to deal with it now, bring the issues to light and work on them. Of course, fitness is one of them. Last year, I don’t remember having worked out any detailed plans or anything for 2012. I guess I just casually acknowledged a few things and got rid of them towards half way into the first month. This year I want things to work and I don’t want to produce another failure which I would lament over later on . So I guess, as I write this post, a few things are turning up clearing the clutter from the back of my head. I should probably just jot them down before they make their way back into the backyard.

Fitness: After all those ramblings I perhaps don’t even need to quote how much I need to take my health seriously. I want to make myself what I dream of. Not trying to be over enthusiastic with it, I just want to feel comfortable in my skin. Even if that means I am a few pounds over what’s perceived to be acceptable. So, I will be hitting the ground and intend to get rid of the excessive flesh in a couple of months. Six months to be precise. There are a few important marriages lined up this year which require me to look my best. Period.

Books: This year, I want to infuse some quality reading into my routine. I like reading but for the past few years, I haven’t been a dedicated reader as such. I don’t remember having read more than a couple of books in a year and might have skipped reading altogether in some of the years. Plus, female-centric-feministic-kinds books category is probably the only category I enjoy reading. I want to move out of my comfort zone. I intend to take up a reading challenge detailing which a post may soon follow.

Talk less: I have never had a problem with people who talk a lot because that’s what I love doing. I can’t seem to hold anything for long inside of me. When I say I want to talk less, I mean I want to cut out the non sense chatter from my conversations. I have been in a lot of problems lately because of my tendency of speaking my mind out almost all the time. Realising how different you need to be at your workplace than how you were at college, I resolve to think before I speak this year.

Play more: My dog needs me and I know she just can’t tell me as such. Ever since this office thing has started, I know I haven’t been able to give her much time even though I always wanted to. So, I am going to include some quality play time with her in my routine.

100 posts: I like to write and it kind of gives me a break from my everyday chores. I don’t know how that is going to happen but I will try reaching a 100 posts this year. This being the first one. It’s kind of a challenge and I want to see how the journey to the 100th post unfolds.

The list is over and my skin has soaked pretty much of the sun by now. This post was written partly at office and partly under the warm sun in the park.  I did take breaks to play with pups, cuddle them, kiss them, talk to them. Of course I love talking and if it’s a dog, I can probably babble out any of my secrets to them.

Here’s wishing everybody a very happy new year 🙂

Listen to me!

Not like people dont, I mean I make them do even if they dont feel like, I just want to talk out loud. As in, give me something to say, I want to blabber and I want you to listen to me. Whatever it is. It is, perhaps, some extra load of energy piled up inside of me that makes me want to go on talking and talking.

And there are times in between when I stop, think over any ‘oopsie’ I made that needs to be apologized for but never does it quite escape out of my mouth and the ramblings of an over-excited hyper-dyper self-proclaimed kid goes on. Wait, dyper is a word? diaper is! and at 21, do I need a self proclamation to be called a kid?!? I, very much, am one.

So, the thing is in the air. The need to release myself of words that just  gather there inside of me   every minute or two and make me want to shoot it all out. I don’t care who is listening.

Is it some disorder?

Okay, the relationship. He needs to be called something. I cant quite keep referring to him as him or he or his or whatever. Kay, he shall henceforth be called. Strange enough, this guy Kay has of late been giving me all the good reasons as to why my break up with The Bear was all that I needed to save myself from the emotional clutches that I had become so accustomed to that I never even realized it until the day I developed a silly crush over my dentist and the realization that the need of the hour was just to move away from The Bear dawned upon me like a blessing. And, I never had anything except for a crush on that dentist. Stopped liking him altogether after my sessions with him ended.

So, as I just mentioned, Kay is like a breath of fresh air in my life. He makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel wanted and important. I had completely forgotten what all of it ever felt like. Now that its there, I want to seize the moment forever. To live it each and every day, every second.

Its so much like those childish fairy tale dreams coming alive. Of course you have work, studies,  and pressure in reality but there times we just saunter around empty unfamiliar streets around the city, sometimes in cold winter evenings relishing upon an ice cream in hand and stealthily sneaking out of the office to avoid any unwanted company. Bliss

And this what I am singing all the time these days..

I mean, I know I am just being too silly but I want to live it up. I wont mind laughing at myself a couple of years later when I read this!