Not like people dont, I mean I make them do even if they dont feel like, I just want to talk out loud. As in, give me something to say, I want to blabber and I want you to listen to me. Whatever it is. It is, perhaps, some extra load of energy piled up inside of me that makes me want to go on talking and talking.
And there are times in between when I stop, think over any ‘oopsie’ I made that needs to be apologized for but never does it quite escape out of my mouth and the ramblings of an over-excited hyper-dyper self-proclaimed kid goes on. Wait, dyper is a word? diaper is! and at 21, do I need a self proclamation to be called a kid?!? I, very much, am one.
So, the thing is in the air. The need to release myself of words that just gather there inside of me every minute or two and make me want to shoot it all out. I don’t care who is listening.
Is it some disorder?
Okay, the relationship. He needs to be called something. I cant quite keep referring to him as him or he or his or whatever. Kay, he shall henceforth be called. Strange enough, this guy Kay has of late been giving me all the good reasons as to why my break up with The Bear was all that I needed to save myself from the emotional clutches that I had become so accustomed to that I never even realized it until the day I developed a silly crush over my dentist and the realization that the need of the hour was just to move away from The Bear dawned upon me like a blessing. And, I never had anything except for a crush on that dentist. Stopped liking him altogether after my sessions with him ended.
So, as I just mentioned, Kay is like a breath of fresh air in my life. He makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel wanted and important. I had completely forgotten what all of it ever felt like. Now that its there, I want to seize the moment forever. To live it each and every day, every second.
Its so much like those childish fairy tale dreams coming alive. Of course you have work, studies, and pressure in reality but there times we just saunter around empty unfamiliar streets around the city, sometimes in cold winter evenings relishing upon an ice cream in hand and stealthily sneaking out of the office to avoid any unwanted company. Bliss
And this what I am singing all the time these days..
I mean, I know I am just being too silly but I want to live it up. I wont mind laughing at myself a couple of years later when I read this!